I AM Radio: Unleash Your Sexuality and Embody Your Power with Narkis Alon

This week, Narkis Alon joins I AM Radio to share her experience and, now, expertise with pleasure and power. Narkis is a serial social entrepreneur, bestselling author and community builder. 

As an entrepreneur and someone who was never shy to pick up a microphone 🎤, she says she used to appear empowered and confident but in reality, she was seeking validation. At the time, she had yet to truly understand or embrace her body and sexuality. In our conversation, she explains her ah-ha moment and the challenging journey that followed. We packed this story into 30 minutes (Cliffs Notes, girl), but you can dive deeper (and we recommend that you do!) with her bestselling book “Present Woman” which explores the connection between our relationships with our bodies and leadership.

Today, Narkis speaks and leads workshops around the world 🌏on entrepreneurship, leadership and sexuality. She is also the co-founder of Double You, a global community for women leaders seeking support on their professional journey. But more than this, Narkis describes how Double You creates a culture of women who want to keep their wild, “animal” side alive while fostering their ambition and belonging to a supportive, connected sisterhood. Hell yes, to that description. Sign us up! 

This fun and introspective conversation takes us down unexpected paths as we discuss nomadic life, embracing discomfort for the sake of growth, all-girls schools, muting voices to find your own and forgetting to hit “unmute”, improvising, and dispelling the idea of being “too much!”

30-minutes with Narkis is cup-filling, and will have you saying aloud to yourself, “Damn, I feel seen.” I did. It might also have you checking her website for US workshop dates. ✋

Press play now and join us on the journey to unleash and embody. 🦁

Support and Follow Narkis: 

Narkis Alon’s Website

Double You

Read: Present Woman

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We are a women-centered media company rewriting the narrative on modern womanhood through story and collaboration.

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to I Am Radio. I'm your cohost, Kasey Lett Gordon. And I'm your other, one might say better, half, Katie Louise Mullins. We are the creators of the beloved FIA podcast and the women behind It All Media. Join us every Thursday for your weekly dose of I Am Radio. We'll be joined by fellow creatives, experts, organizers, powerful women in media, and our favorite of all, real women. As we chronicle, Our journey as two first time entrepreneurs turn filmmakers. With that, cue the dancing hot dogs and concession ads. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Today I have the privilege and pleasure of sitting down with Narkees alone Narkees, welcome to the show. Yes. I love that. You said that you have the pleasure because we're going to also talk about pleasure. We are. Um, so to set the stage just a little bit for today's conversation, Narkees is a serial social entrepreneur. She's a bestselling author and a community builder. Uh, she's the co founder of W, which is a global community for women leaders Seeking support in their professional journeys. She's also authored the book present woman, which really explores the connection between our relationship with our body and leadership. And that truly was the catalyst for our meeting, this relationship between pleasure and power. So I was laughing before we jumped on this, that Narkees, I think we have. Like a thousand different conversations that we could have today. So I made some notes for myself that I don't talk for an hour when we only have 30 minutes. But there's so much breadth and depth to your work and story. And so I'd love to start there and just give you the platform to share your personal story and maybe what brought us together in the first place. And that really is that connection between pleasure and power. Okay, great. So I guess that if I recall like myself as a Child, I remember myself really loving my body and enjoying my body You know, I remember myself dancing freely and expressing myself and really being playful But that wasn't my experience when I grew older And when I'm trying to think like, what was the gap? So I recall two experiences that for me are symbolizing this gap, these things that I needed to kind of like unlearn. So one is when I was, um, 14 years old, I was at a friend's house and she called the guy from school and she kind of like, she put him on speaker. She didn't tell him I'm next to her. And she brainstormed with him about different girls he could potentially date from school. So she's like, what about her? What about her? What about her? And then she's like, what about Narcisse? And then he was silent for a second. And then he was like, but Narkees doesn't look good. And she was super embarrassed. So she changed the topic of the conversation. And for me, this was a very meaningful moment because obviously before the age of 14, I already knew that a woman is supposed to look in a certain way. She wants to receive love. This is a message girls receive much like earlier, but it's the first time I recall that I received the direct message about me specifically, you know? And I thought, okay, I was always like very achievement oriented. So I'm like, okay, so I will just change it. And I stopped eating. So basically that's how it developed eating disorders and eating disorders is the first time I recall, I learned to disconnect from my body because eating disorders means, or also any extreme diet means that basically it doesn't matter. If your body signals that you're hungry. Okay. And this learning has very wide, um, implications also on our intimate life. So when I was 15, I was in my first intimate experience with a man. I was in the scout. We were in a summer camp and we were on his hammock and he was touching my body. That was like the second experience above my clothes. So it wasn't like we didn't even have sex or something, but I remember it's the first time a guy's touching my body. And all I could think about was how do I not ruin this moment? Like, I didn't think, does it feel good? Do I want it? I just like, because it's in the same way. It wasn't relevant if the 14 years old was hungry. So it wasn't relevant if it feels good for me, I just cared about validation. And my body is the instrument basically. So for me, these two experiences are basically the symbol of like what I learned about my body. My body is just an instrument and what I care about is validation. So when I went after that to the professional world, it was also based on this learning. So when I was leading a company and I had my board of directors, So in the same way, I didn't think my physical needs are important in the dining room or in the bedroom, obviously I didn't think my ideas or my opinions are important in the boardroom. And yes, I was very vocal in the boardroom. Like if you would look from the outside, it looked as if I'm confident and, you know, empowered because I was always like an entrepreneur and talking, but the truth is that it was kind of like an empty shell, you know? Because underneath it, all I was seeking is validation and I couldn't really stand in my power. So that was my life and in all of my relationships, I was kind of like faking my, my sexuality and I didn't even know it's a problem. So what changed my life is, um, in my company, I was leading a tech academy and we received a grant from Google and the grant was for creating an entrepreneurship program that supports women to create startups basically. So we created a retreat for women in the desert so they can ideate their startups about their startup ideas. And we were after a very intensive day that all day long, they were like really thinking like very hardcore business sessions. And then in the evening, um, women were sitting around the fire and suddenly there was a spontaneous conversation about body and sexuality. Now, this was the first time I was like in an honest conversation about these topics. Me and my girlfriends would talk up. It's not like today it was 10 years ago. So these conversations were like, if they were even happening, it was mostly cynical or not sincere. And women talked about sexual harassments in the workplace was several years before me too. They talked about body image and where they feel shame around their body. And also someone, women shared that in their relationships, they're kind of like having sex with their partners, just to pay their dues in a way. Like it's really about, you know, just, just like pleasing their partners and not at all, like having their pleasure or anything, and I was listening to them. And I thought two things, first of all, I was finding myself in each one of the sharing and I'm like, wow, I didn't even know it's a problem. Like suddenly I understand. It's a problem. And if it's a problem, it might have a solution. And second, I thought like, I wonder why we're talking about it now. Like these women talked about their dreams, you know, all day long. And suddenly this, these are the challenges and fears that came up. Like what could be the connection? And then two things happened. And that's where my story started. Like, first I came back home to my partner after this retreat and I'm like, listen. I, you know, all these years in our intimacy, I wasn't present. Like I was literally not there. So I want to go through a journey of like unlearning this pattern and learning and finding my pleasure. And will you walk this path with me? And obviously my partner said yes, but it was a very, very challenging process. Very, and that's what I'm sharing in a very honest and exposed way in my book and present woman. It included like going to workshops and therapy and uncovering some And the second thing is that we started including this content in our entrepreneurship workshop. So in addition to business, like we started having conversations about body and sexuality because I noticed that the more I connected to my body, so I was more able to like raise money, start my initiatives, you know, really follow the things I care about. And it has a direct connection. And then, you know, I witnessed thousands of women. having these conversations and I realized it's completely a collective story and that's how I started to, to write this book and lead this conversation in different ways. I know that you had some personal experiences in your 20s that really, I think were maybe your first encounters with pleasure and understanding like your power there. I really didn't know the intersection of the two until I was in my mid thirties until I started doing the work that I'm doing. And so much of that was through entrepreneurship and meeting other women in this community, um, and having those vulnerable conversations. And as you said, 10 years ago, that wasn't happening. And now we live in a world where those Vulnerable conversations are happening more often, but I, I just never had made the association before. And I love how you say because you know, your body helps you advocate for yourself, both in the bedroom and the boardroom. And also it's, it's also what you're saying, but it's also because our body. Like, I feel that the fact that like today's culture basically took this thing called a woman's body. Okay? And I think that the thing that the thing around our body is the way it looks. Okay? And then it means that we invest a lot of our energy and resources and attention in the way it looks. But I feel like it's the biggest fraud because it makes us be distracted by what it really is in our body. What it really is, is our compass, you know, body can direct you to make decisions, to make the right decisions. It can help you manifest your reality, you know? And so I feel like a woman that is connected to her body and her pleasure, It's not only because, Oh, she's more confident now and she can advocate for herself here and there. It's like, she is rooted in who she is. You know what I mean? I feel like you cannot express yourself if you're not yourself, then you're expressing someone else. You know what I mean? So a couple of weeks ago I read this article, by Amanda Hirsch from Mighty Forces and she said that authenticity plus agency equals hope. And I've been kind of buzzing around this idea recently, um, of just when we share our superpowers or our authentic voices, it really helps us create the change that we want to see in the world. And not only that, but spark hope. And so I wanted to know, what compelled you to share your story and not just, not just in the book, but I know that you have workshops on both entrepreneurship and sexuality, that you do globally. What compelled you to step into the arena? Quote unquote. It's an interesting question because I feel it was never like a decision. You know what I mean? Like, I feel it was always very, it was very natural for me. It was very much who I am. I do feel that I had, like, for me, it was very much about how much I'm allowing myself to be myself because I was always in a way in the arena, like, of course, respective to my community and my, in the places I have an impact, but I was always a vocal person. I was always on stage. I was always holding a microphone, you know? But I, I wasn't necessarily using it for, you know, for really expressing what my soul wants to express. So I feel that many years. It was just about being like, almost like a puppet or, you know, someone that could be representative and speak in like, but not really speaking the truth that wants to be heard. And then the impact you can make is very limited when you're like that. Even if you're touching millions and I have friends that touched millions of people, but they were playing a game of someone else. So, so they touched them in a very superficial way. And kind of like when they made the shift to, to living a life that is really, you know, an authentic life. So maybe, maybe like, I am thinking about one of them that instead of touching millions, so she's touching like Hundreds of thousands, but she's touching in a deeper way because she's really, you know, speaking her truth. So I feel for me, the decision wasn't about being in the arena. It was a decision of like being in the arena really from, from a place of truth, you know? And I feel that when we're talking about feminine expression in the world, and I know it's a lot of what you are doing, um, it's not about having. women in positions of power, because you can have women in positions of power that are not really being themselves. And then how does it help us? We want to have more feminine values, you know, in the world. So I feel like this is what we need to encourage women to be authentic, to be themselves. so you're also the co founder of W, and this is something, so this is double and then Y O U. Um, I'd love to have you expand a little bit of on how this business supports women leaders, but also I love your five pillars and doing some of the research here. This is like, uh, they took me aback when I read them. So the five pillars of content are voice, idea, sisterhood, money, and body, and never associated with women in business or, just leadership in this space. Have I ever seen those five words together? Wow. And it just, it struck me, and I think it's so much of what we talk about, In both the docuseries. But again, these are all concepts that have just been things that I've learned from experts in these spaces over the last few years. So I'd love for you to talk about, the work that you do with W. So yeah, W is completely a love project. Um, basically it's a global network of women from 16 different countries. And we are gathering in retreats. And these are like days that are women. Women are coming. Um, intentionally to focus on an idea could be an existing idea or a new idea, and they have different all the pillars of content, so things to work with their body, with their voice, with thinking about their idea, connecting with the sisterhood. Working with money. And so this really like, um, empowers them to create the energy needed to, you know, take their idea to the next level. In addition to that, our community is active. So we have gatherings, we have a very active and, Uh, vocal WhatsApp group that is, uh, you know, and we have social projects. Uh, we have the W fund that we're doing for supporting, uh, youth at risk, girls that are at risk and also, um, additional initiatives depending on what is currently happening in the different communities we're around. And there's a lot of collaborations that women are doing with each other. Um, but I feel the most important thing in W is, um, we're, we're saying that like, uh, it's like ambitious, wild and helpful women. So this is like what we stand for, you know? So it's kind of like a culture. Of women that are, they want to keep, you know, their animal side alive. This wild that we think is so important next to the ambitious women and next to the sister that is also a friend, you know, and we feel that this connection between these worlds is so important. is the leadership that is currently needed, you know? I love that. I've never heard it expressed that way. I feel as somebody who's been very nomadic throughout my life, I always feel this tension between the need for routine or to fit within some of the confines of the more, Structural world and then also this urge to run and be like a wild free thing And I think having the two married that's incredible. I love that. How much how much have you been nomadic like What was your nomadic journey? So I traveled to, Europe and I lived in Switzerland and England and worked there. Um, I lived in Spain for a short period of time for school. And then, I worked for an international NGO in Thailand. And then within the United States I've moved, I think I've lived in like maybe 36 different places over. 20 years. Oh my god, that's so brave. It's a, it's, but it's been like, I find that I like myself the most when I am in the unknown, when I'm forced to be in situations that make me uncomfortable, and I have to like, learn something new. And vulnerability and community are my two values, like my two core values. And they are truly, ignited, I think. And I'm so in touch with them each time I move to a new place and have to learn a new role and, uh, connect with new people. And I find, I told Casey when I, we started this business that honestly entrepreneurship has ticked a lot of those boxes for me because I haven't been able to be as nomadic being here because we've been building the business. Um, and that's taken a lot of time and financial sacrifice, but, I'm constantly in the unknown. I'm constantly having to navigate new spaces. I'm constantly feeling vulnerable. And, and I've been good at feeling vulnerable in my personal life, but I've been terrible at feeling vulnerable in my professional life because that was always a place that I felt very strong. And it, certainly is not the case anymore because I am forever learning and, I'm on this growth trajectory that's been unprecedented in my life prior to now. So, it's emulating the same feelings that I got every time that I moved. I just want to say that the fact that you know that these things make you like strong or like love yourself the most, I still think it shouldn't be taken for granted that you're choosing it. You know what I mean? Because I feel that a lot of us know that and are still choosing comfort and the things that we know because it's easier. And I also want to say that vulnerability, um, like agreeing, like the agreeing to be weak, you know what I mean? And agreeing also, I feel like a lot of, um, like agreeing to be weak means like opening your hand and agreeing to receive help, which is also a lot of being in community. And I feel that it's also a huge part of manifestation, because if we want to manifest something, we need to know how to receive. We don't know how to receive and if we're constantly just like giving or trying to control reality, we cannot receive things that we're looking for, you know? So I feel it's like a huge key. That a lot of us when we're just want to be like strong women, we're, we're missing it, you know? Absolutely. I feel like that's something I still grapple with all the time. Well, so in working with women all over the world, what is some of your biggest ahas or shifts or changes that you've noticed in the women that you've encountered or have spent time with? So there's something that we're doing in the end of workshops that is called compliment showers. And it's a really beautiful exercise that women are like closing in their eyes. And then women like that they just met this woman for a few days. So they saw a lot of things in her, but in a very, you know, genuine way, they're telling her like in her ears, like beautiful things they see in her. Okay. So imagine yourself like with your eyes closed for five minutes, women are just whispering positive things. And you. And every time when we do it, women are like either crying or almost crying, but they, they, it feels like they're after a psychedelic experience, you know, like a lot, a lot of oxytocin, like, and so for me, like, I feel the biggest, uh huh women have, including myself over and over again is the power of love. And I think there is really nothing like the power of love, you know, and, and. I feel it the most in motherhood. Um, but not only like in, in female friendship, like I feel the connection between women, like when we use them to in a positive extent, it can really transform the world completely. It can also heal our relationship with men. I feel it could be the cure for wars, you know, and, um, and I feel this is a big thing because for a lot of women also it's hard with other women, you know what I mean, and So I feel like when women find out, wow, like power of love and I can ignite it with other women, with sisters, you know, this feeling of sisterhood, it's a, it's a very, very important part of the process. I love that. I was having like almost like a physical reaction as you were talking about that because I know that experience and how it fills you up inside and, it was interesting. So when I moved to Thailand, from the United States, I met a community of women. And I think it's the first time, cause I went to an all girls School for high school, and I almost felt the opposite. I was always like the the guy's girl, you know, and and, uh, a bit of a tomboy. And, I think maybe I was trying to prove myself in those areas. But it was the first time in my life that I was surrounded by a community of women that I felt so like valued with and were so supportive and collaborative and, I just, it changed my life forever to have that community. And since then, I've been seeking those communities amongst women. And obviously my work brings me into that every day. But it was a completely life changing thing to feel that connection and to feel that, that love and community and support in a way that I had never before. Wow. That's such an interesting experience to be in an all girls school. How do you feel? How do you feel it influenced the way you feel next to men? It was interesting. So this is, uh, I guess just the microcosm of it. But when I started in college, my first day in university, I, um, I came in with my hair on top of my head, like in a ball. And, I was in sweat, sweat pants and a sweatshirt and I probably looked very scrubby and I sat in the very front row. And I answered all the questions, from the professor, I was very engaged in class and a lot of, other women that went to school with me, they came in and they were very dressed up, in heels and pearls, and they sat in the back of the room, with a lot of the guys, and I was up by myself. At the end of the class, the professor called me up and he says, just out of curiosity, did you go to an all girls school? Oh my god. Yeah. And I was like, I did. And he goes, I can always tell. And he's like, because you sit in the front of the class and you engage and you don't, you're not paying attention to what you look like. And you always use your voice. And it's just, I didn't even consider anybody else in the room. I was just like, I'm here to learn. Like, I don't really opposite. Like you met, you feel more confident I think I think in high school, I would say that's not, that wasn't the case. I didn't have the common interactions or engagements. So I was very shy and somewhat reserved. And I didn't really have like the social training that you get, you know. Um, but I think it made me, definitely find a little bit of my own power and voice though when I started getting into the more integrated situations and I felt very confident in who I was because of that experience. That's so interesting. You know what, what, where it met me, like, I don't know if you can say in English this expression, so I'm sorry if I invented, but when I say where it met me, but, um, but for me, I feel that. When I realized that I'm like far from my body, far from like 10 years ago, that I, that I'm like, that I need to find my voice. And that's because I wanted to please men. I basically like, you know, changed my whole life for that. So what I, I did unconsciously is I kind of like muted men, I muted their voice inside my mind. Cause I needed to like find my own voice and it was mainly in these women communities or in myself and my journey. But then when I found my voice, I accidentally didn't unmute them, you know, and then, and then it was really challenging because, you know, I'm, as part of my podcast, I'm leading a community of tens of thousands of men and women that are talking about gender and relationships. It's in a Facebook group and there's a lot of engagement. So I read in the last few years, like thousands and thousands of personal sharings of men also. That are sharing, you know, how it feels to be a man in the world. And I started in the beginning was really hard for me to read their emotions because I'm like, what are you complaining about? I'm so angry. And it took me like, it took me time to be like, wait, what am I doing? Like these men are amazing. There are so much, so many amazing men, you know, and we need to like make sure we unmute them back. Yes. And the patriarchy serves very, our expectations of men are, so unreachable, you know, for them all right, let's do a little rapid fire. Okay. Yes, of course. Okay. Finish the sentence. I feel most in my power when? When I improvise. Ooh. I love that. All right. On the opposite of that, when my power is shaken, I. I'm embarrassed. All right. Last bit. What is a story, apart from the one, obviously, that we've been talking about for most of this podcast, what is a story that you've been told by others or yourself that you've had to rewrite in order to get to where you are today or a story that you're currently rewriting? Wow, there are so many things that it's a really hard one. Um, maybe that, that I'm like too much, you know, that I'm too much that I need to like, let go or relax or, you know, or more fit in and stuff. And, and I'm realizing more and more that none of us should do it, you know, like if no one would try to fit in, I think the world would be better. incredible. You know, we would have like an amazing world where each one is embodying something. So I think something around that. Yeah. Authentic voices equals hope. We need more hope. It's definitely a scarcity right now. Um, all right. I guess to end, would you mind sharing with everyone how we can follow you, support you, work with you? Um, so first of all, the book present woman. I don't have it here. You can see the cover. Let's see, just, uh, showing just the picture, I imagine. Yeah, I'll put links and show notes, too. So this book is on Amazon, so I'll share with you the link. And you can find me on Instagram, Raki Salon, and I have a website. Yeah, all these links that we'll share. I'm coming to the U. S. several times a year to speak on different events and opportunities, but. I guess I'll share it on one of these links. Perfect. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you being on with us today. This was a phenomenal conversation and thank you for being part of our docu series and sharing your expertise and story.